April 20

 

Radiation treatment this past Thursday was rough and I continued feeling bad all day. The normal pattern would indicate that Friday was going to be horrible. Instead, Friday's session went well, and I felt good. Afterwards I went to Lowe's for mulch. There was no one there to help load so I put 20 bags into my car. (I did pay for them first.) Karen helped me unload the car and we carried them all around the yard. I was able to do research on a project all afternoon as well as pick up another load of mulch and at dinner time I grilled tuna steaks with a honey mustard glaze, heated up riced cauliflower with Asian vegetables, and opened a bag of salad. So, Friday night we sat full, contented, and feeling good. Early to bed and a good night's sleep brought on Saturday. Saturday was active; I installed a rain barrel, carried a lot of bags of mulch, and kept feeling surprisingly good.

I found myself thinking wow two good days, when is the crash coming and how bad am I going to feel. I realized that was not a healthy or biblical way to think. Instead of dreading the unknown and what might be, I should rejoice in the known and embrace these comfortable times as a gift from God. It made me think of Matthew 6:33-34 “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you, therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. My mother used to say don't go borrowing trouble for yourself, just do what you have to do.  It also made me ultimately think of the verse from the old hymn, ‘Many things about the future I don’t seem to understand, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand,’

Monday and Tuesday as well have been very good days. Because our pastor is in the hospital with covid I was asked to preach this Sunday. I have spent the morning working on a sermon, PowerPoint, and hand out and have been really blessed by how my mind has been able to focus. It is a joy to be able to interact with God’s word in a sustained and meaningful way.  I am so thoroughly enjoying myself preparing for next Sunday.